Our Rainbow baby slips away again :(

   We saw our baby's heartbeat for the last time on 17th June :(  Eric nicknamed our baby lightening bug since that is what he/she looked like on the u/s with a flickering heartbeat.Today I had another u/s because doctor was concerned about slow growth. Eric and I were so sad not to see our baby's heart beating. I don't know why this has happened a third time. This was supposed to be third time's the charm! :(  I need some answers. I still feel very pregnant. Morning sickness and sore breasts. It sucks to feel pregnant and know that baby is gone :(  This song by Casting Crowns applies to us and I listen to it remind myself to have faith and praise God who gives and takes away.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGPS8sa-bRQ

Heartbeat!!

   Alot has happened in the last week.  I started having nausea and vomitting. So much for it being called morning sickness, but mine starts in the afternoon. I think acid reflux made it worse. Vomitting actually helped me feel better. It's just a constant queasy feeling I have now.

 Yesterday was my first ultrasound. The sonographer pulled the machine forward so I couldnt see. She said that would turn it back to let me see when she was done.  Maybe my Ob told her to do that since I have had previous miscarriages? That's the first time that has happened at that place. It seemed to take forever while I prayed the Our Father asking God to guide her hands so she would find our baby. Finally she said there it is! We saw the tiny 2mm fetal pole and a steady flickering. 109 bpm. She said I am measuring 6 weeks 2 days. This is a week behind my lmp but I know I ovulated late, like cd 17 so I am hoping the little bean catches up.. With the 2 miscarried pregnancies we never got to see our baby's heart beating before because it had stopped by the time I had an u/s at 10 weeks. What an amazing feeling to see the life inside me on that screen! Eric decided to name him/ her "Firefly".  I think it is a girl due to my early morning sickness and stronger than usual pregnancy symptoms. I have been crocheting a yellow and white shell stitch baby blanket. God is great!! :)

Third beta

On Friday May 31st I had another beta drawn at my own request.  I had been having period-like cramping for 3 days and this made me worry. I know God is working his magic and I should leave it all up to Him. However, I just can't help worrying after having two previous miscarriages. I also didn't have any pregnancy symptoms whatsoever. The ob phoned me on June 3rd to give me the good news.  My beta numbers were now at 5,401! They are still doubling every 37 hours. She said that these numbers were very good at 5 weeks 5 days. I was so relieved!!

Today I am 6 weeks 3 days and feeling some pregnancy symptoms like sore breasts and slight nausea in the morning when I first wake up. Waking up twice during the night to pee. Praying and patiently waiting for the ultrasound on June 11th and that pot of gold at the end of the rainbow...a heartbeat