Tuesday, March 31, 2015

BFN 8dp5dt

I caved and tested. Yesterday there was a faint second line.  Today it was again a faint line but it isn't getting darker so I am pretty sure it's a chemical. 
Why is it that my uterus grabs chromosomally abnormal embryos but rejects the PGS tested normal ones? Also, I just started spotting.  I have never bled on PIO before.  I've only had IB with my natural pregnancies.  I had super strong period like cramps on Saturday the 28th. I woke up to an orgasm from a vivid sex dream.  Then cramping for a good 10 mins. I thought for sure they had been implantation cramps.(remember the Hawaiian owl card ~pay close attention to signs and omens and vivid dreams?)
I moved my beta to this Friday.  Why torture myself with 3 sets of daily injections? I have a migraine, I'm am having night sweats and I am in the worst mood of my life. I think it's because I'm no longer pregnant and so my body isn't using the hormones and it's affecting me in a really bad way.  I got really pissed yesterday because I phoned ISCIS and found out that my green card with my married name change was undeliverable because our stupid mailman keeps putting the wrong mail in the wrong boxes! I know this cuz I keep getting neighbors mail and putting it into their box! Dh has even driven a few streets away to bring a lady her medication which were delivered here! Its one of the many things I love about him. His kindness to strangers. I should have received my card before my transfer and I remember saying it would bring us luck. Maybe it was a sign when I never received it. 

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Lucky 7?

After a 2 hour drive to PA yesterday, I had a 5AB (chromosomally normal) embryo transferred to my uterus that will hopefully be his/her new home for the next 9 months.  This was the first time I didn't have other patients go ahead of me. Not having to hold a full bladder for an extended amount of time made the experience so much better! I was happy that Dr S did our transfer since I did get bfp's with my last 2 transfers. I also felt no discomfort whatsoever.  Little did I know 3 yrs ago that my 3 mins of excruciating cramping with Dr Y's transfers was NOT normal. He went over the PGS results with us and what was interesting to find out was that the "abnormal monosomy 20" was actually graded 5AA. Not 5AB, as I had been previously told by Dr M. I wonder if his eyes crossed over the lines in my results? Or did he not want to admit was it same grade as my 2 miscarried embryos? Dr S said the abnormal embryo was #1 and would have been the next in line to be transferred and added that it was a very wise choice to do the PGS. (I did not say anything about Dr M telling us that PGS was unnecessary with such great looking embryos). Our remaining 2 frosties are 5AB and 5BB. Dr S added "the grade does not matter anyway because they are chromosomally normal".
It has become a ritual for us now to go eat at Pei Wei after a transfer. I had my usual GF spicy shrimp with brown rice. This morning I had an acupuncture session. This afternoon lots of bubbling in my uterus. If embryo sticks, this will be pregnancy #7. The 2 ww until beta begins...

I forgot to mention one thing that was concerning, I woke up in pain 2 days before my transfer, the pinky finger on my left hand swelled and a blue vein was poking out.  I pulled this card from the animal spirit guides cards.  Our honeymoon was in Hawaii so I thought this was interesting.

The book goes on to say "the guidance can come to you in many forms, whether through your eyes, ears, feelings and thoughts. Sometimes your ancestral spirit guides appear in dreams, particularly vivid ones."  I went to acupuncture the day after my transfer since again my transfer was a Monday and they are closed on the weekend so no chance of getting a session in the day before. My acupuncturist said the swollen finger was caused by a blockage and he used extra needles to bleed it out.  It feels much better now.  I wonder though if it was a bad omen warning me not to proceed with my transfer. Dh thinks I am being paranoid.  He is so sure this cycle with work with a PGS normal that he bought a new CRV.  When the car salesman showed us the hidden mirror where you can have a view of a baby or  child in the backseat, Dh smiled at me. Yeah that sealed the deal for him.

Monday, March 16, 2015

Lining check and green light for FET

I had an ultrasound and bloodwork today and my uterine lining is 8.6mm.  I was a bit disheartened because last FET it was 9.5mm. I asked if lovenox might be keeping it on the thin side but the nurse dodged around the question.  I have been drinking that yucky pomegranate juice every freakin day same as last time.! Sigh. Oh well. RE and nurse both assured me it was a great lining and reminded me that we have normal embryos.  They don't get it. I've had no rashes so far so good but I still worry about immune issues.  The days have warmed up but the night keep dropping in the 20's and this constant fluctuation in temp is causing my fibromyalgia pain in my neck and upper back.Oh and darn brain fog! I don't have the crazy energy I had last time on prednisolone even though I am taking 10 mg now. I start progesterone injections in 2 days and am already feeling sooo sleepy. Thankfully, the pain in my fingers is gone (goodbye inflammation)

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

New Doctor (Maternal Fetal medicine)

I made an appointment with Dr H. I saw an interview with her on repeat miscarriages and she is very knowledgeable about immune disorders in pregnancy.  She's had 3 miscarriages herself and has a blood clotting disorder. So I have faith that she will do everything she can to help me stay pregnant. Hopefully she will agree to increase my dose of prednisolone. OB Dr A was very anti-corticosteroid. She is high risk but does not understand my particular situation. RE, Dr M just puts me on whatever protocol he gives his other patients.

So for 3 days in a row I asked the animal spirit guides oracle cards about Dr H and 3 days in row I amazingly pulled the very same card! Funny thing is, my Chinese Astrological sign is the boar lol I have an extremely good feeling about Dr H and pray that I am pregnant when I meet with her on April 9th.