New Year reminders

5 years ago, January 26th, my first ever positive hpt.  So naive I was then. A year ago, January 26th would have also been  the due date of our "firefly" that we lost to trisomy 16. A friend who has also lost angel babies said to me that the calender becomes like a minefield with painful reminders of due dates and m/c. So very true.

My ivf nurse will not let me move forward and let me take birth control pills until she has "proof" my beta is zero even though I told her my period came right on time!! Ugh! Well the last one before we left for holiday was 88 so off I went for another beta. I got the results this morning- less than 2. Dh said maybe I should not have been so honest and not told my nurse I had a miscarriage. It is not like they follow me or prescribe anything when I have spontaneous pregnancies anyway. I am on my own! So if the OB is fine with my follow-up and had no problem prescribing me birth control pills then...ppfttt!. Yet another delay. My FET won't be till March now.*sigh* I will be 44 in July. Time is ticking a**holes!  Rant over.