Monday, August 31, 2015

7dpt-Hypothyroid

Dr Hamersley phoned with my most recent Thyroid levels and she said I am now hypothyroid and need to take the synthroid or this will work against my pregnancy. In 2 weeks my TSH has gone from 1.67 to 3.7!  Free T4 has dropped from 2.3 to 1.3.  I am so mad at my RE for telling me  not to take the synthroid! Last week he said it would cause me to produce even more thyroid hormone which I do not want. I thought that endocrinologist knew about the thyroid?!   I am only following Dr Hamersley's directions from here on out.  I am feeling a tightness at the base of my throat. Dr H said she thinks this is thyroid related as well. FMU IC was a bit similar to last night's.

Sunday, August 30, 2015

6dpt- The POAS madness begins



I was a hormonal wreck at church this morning.  While singing a hymn that went "..through the storms we are facing let God be our light..." I started tearing up as I thought that the message must be for Eric and I! Ugh! Hormones!! Then I felt a strong pinch on the left of my uterus.  Like our little one was saying "I'm still here!!"  As soon as I got home,  I poas on one of those new FRER  hpts. The line isn't much darker than IC from yesterday. So Eric said "Try another Internet cheapie!"


He usually does not encourage me to test and usually says wait till my expected period (2 days before beta). This time he is in on board the POAS train too!! lol  The 2nd line is a bit darker. Phew! (IC detects 20 miu. Like several ladies on  Babycenter have said, the New FRER do not give a 2nd strong line like the original ones did!! Very disappointing. I don't care about the curved handle cuz I like to pee in a cup anyways! I was surprised when Amazon sent these. Please God let our baby stay.  It's all in your hands now.

Saturday, August 29, 2015

5dpt - Squinter

I got a squinter on a Wondfo IC hpt at 7 am this morning.  My transfer was at 12:45 so it hasn't been quite 5 days since transfer day yet. Praying so hard that this little soul sticks around!  I decreased my prednisolone dose from 10ml(30mg) to 7ml(20 mg) today. Hopefully I will be able to get more sleep now.  I have only been able to sleep 4 hours a night since my FET!  I was getting 7 hours on 15mg before my transfer so hopefully the extra 5 mg won't make the insomnia continue...



Friday, August 28, 2015

4dpt- Fatigue

Last night I fell asleep right after dinner on the movie "Aloha". Eric ripped it for me so I could watch it another time. I hope I get my thyroid results on Monday since I think that is what is causing me to feel so sleepy. Well only sleeping 4 hours isn't helping either. Good news. Heart palpitations have stopped so the higher dose of prednisolone must have done the trick to tame my thyroid.  The tremors in my hands are also gone.  Seems I spend all my waking time eating. I am so hungry!  Loving these soups by Pacific. I eat one with all my meals. Keeping the palace warm and all that.


Thursday, August 27, 2015

3dpt- Another Thyroid blood draw

I woke up to period like cramps.  They felt like implantation cramps. I have had them will all my pregnancies. With the spontaneous pregnancies I would wonder for a moment "could it be?" then just dismiss it. But with IVF, knowing there is an embryo in my uterus does make me more in tune to every sensation.  I hope this little embryo has chosen a good spot to snuggle in.  I went to Labcorp to get blood drawn for thyroid tests.  I was raveneous when I got home despite the huge breakfast I had. As I sit here, I feel lots of bubbling in my uterus.  Praying. Gardening to keep my mind busy.


Wednesday, August 26, 2015

2dp5dt- Chat with Dr Hamersley

Dr. Hamersley phoned me today. She said the heart palpitations and increased pulse are not being caused by the prednisolone. What's causing it is my thyroid reacting to the del estrogen and progesterone injections.  That makes sense because because in other cycles, when I wasn't taking pred,,I would have rashes and fibro flares when I started the del estrogen. Dr H said I am not hyperthyroid, even though my Free T4 is a bit high. Hyperthyroidism would only be indicated if TSH was in the low range and it has been normal. She noticed my TSH from 8/11 was missing so she ordered a new thyroid panel so I will go for another blood draw tomorrow.  She also said it was ok to continue my calcium and magnesium supplements ( I had read a contraindication for magnesium when taking lovenox. Can't believe everything you read on the internet). Prednisolone causes leaching of calcium and magnesium from the bones so it is important to supplement. Also Dr H said to continue the baby aspirin. My mind feels more at ease after talking with her.

Tonight, I had what felt like implantation camps on the left side of my uterus. With every pregnancy I have felt it on my left so I suppose the embies prefer that side.


Tuesday, August 25, 2015

1dp5dt- Acupuncture

I had an acupuncture appointment this morning.I really needed it because of this 30 mg prednisolone (I am actually taking 9ml/28 mg cuz at 97 lbs, I think that dose is tad high for me)  Jamie, the u/s tech who checked my pulse yesterday right after my transfer said it was high. She asked if I was having heart palpitations and right after I said no, I then I felt them. At least I didn't have to fib. She was concerned and said I should call them if it continued and they may have to lower the pred dose. Ut-oh.  I don't want to lower it to anything less than 20mg because all the studies my MFM has shown me show this is the minimum dose for success.  Besides, the PIO is causing plenty of side effects. Some of the ones I have been noticing: dizziness, nervousness, irritability, anxiety, confusion, forgetfulness, impaired concentration and insomnia. Insomnia is also a side effect of prednisolone. and it is back. I am waking up at 4am. It took me 2 weeks to get used to the 15mg dose and I was finally sleeping 7 hours. Now I have almost doubled the dose, so was kind of expecting it.

I was so sad about the passing of Lauree's baby  that I didn't have the heart to make an update last week on my blood work results I got back from my GP's office. I went for blood work on 7/28 and 8/11. Anti-nuclear antibodies and Anti-SS B were both Negative! My RE Dr M was very pleased about this.  Dr Braverman was right! He said that endo causes ANA to flare up.  I am so glad I listened to him and had the laparoscopy done to remove it. ANA It was positive for 10 yrs and now suddenly negative! I am cautiously hopeful about this FET. For once the word negative is a good thing!!! I've been getting my thyroid levels checked every 2 weeks. Free T4 was 2.3 which is above normal range, which worried me, so I emailed my RE and he said it was a bit high but not to worry about it because my Free T3 and other thryoid tests were great. TSH was 1.67 on 7/28 at the start of my protocol, but the result was missing from the 8/11 panel. Since it's was the recommended "below 2", I will try not to worry. GP said he will ask the lab to re-run the test. I phoned Dr Hamersley's office to discuss results of my test and other questions. I told the nurse that she could call me back at her convenience when she wanted to put me right through to her while she was with a patient. I prefer when they call on their own time, then they have more time to talk.

 I drew the Hawaiian Owl card from the spiritual animal deck. Pay close attention to signs and omens.  I had this card last July. The sign/omen I had was in the form of a nightmare.  We had gone to see Malificent in my 7th week and  in the dream Malificent was holding the baby blanket I was crocheting for our baby. She unrolled it and cackled "The baby is Gone!!" {Insert Diabolical laughter here} This happened around the time the HB stopped 8 weeks 4 days but baby was measuring 5 days behind at 7 weeks 6 days). Then in March, with my BFN cycle, the omen would have been the painful, swollen/veiny pinky finger  2 days before my embryo transfer.


Our hatching embryo reminds me of one of my Journey CD covers "ESCAPE":



Monday, August 24, 2015

FET

I had my Embryo transfer today at 12:45. I had prayed for nice weather since rain never agrees with my fibromyalgia. It was beautiful and sunny, I was pain free and it was an awesome day. A grade AB (PGS normal) eagerly hatching embryo is in my uterus now and hopefully snuggling in for the next 9 months.
Everything went smoothly, no hour delay or having to tense my pelvic floor muscles due to a bladder read to burst like the last FET. Transfer was on time and u/s tech and embryologists were cheerful (same ladies for the last 4 transfers). A new RE did the transfer. Only one thing concerned me was the tech saying to the doctor that "she saw a shadow" and I asked if it had anything to do with my tilted uterus and she didn't respond, so the embryologist smiled and said it was fine and,there was a nice direct line for the catheter.  Um, ok. The doctor adjusted the tilt of the table several times until I almost felt like I was on an inversion table before he finally put our embryo in.  Eric and I went to Pei Wei for gluten free spicy shrimp. I'm following acupuncturists instructions on eating "warm foods". This has become our little tradition after an FET. As I was waiting for the food and Eric went to sort out our order mix-up (they had brought us tuna sushi instead of spicy shrimp), Someone had satellite radio playing from their car and the song "A Thousand years" came on.  I tried not to tear up as I listened to it and a couple was trying to calm their vocal baby at the table next to us.
After lunch, we came home and watched "The Longest Ride". Of course with Nicholas Sparks movies, a box of tissues is always required. This one especially was a tear-jerker. Even more so with all these hormones lol  A perfect day with my awesome husband. Our eagerly hatching 6 day PGS normal embryo:






Sunday, August 23, 2015

:(

It is with a sad and heavy heart that I write this post.  Lauree, an infertility friend that I was praying for and rooting for has lost her baby at 9 weeks 5 days. I was so sure this was her rainbow baby at last. My heart breaks for her and this devastating loss.  Please stop by her blog and leave her encouraging words and prayers.
Just Relax and it will happen


Monday, August 17, 2015

Lining check and green light for FET

I started out the morning disappointed, with a lining of 8.5mm at 7 am. Perhaps because I didn't have success with my 2 transfers where I had an 8.5.  Last summer's BFP my lining was 9.5 so I was hoping it to be closer to that.  My nurse Doris then phoned me at 11:15, all bubbly and happy that my lining is in fact 8.7! It's not as great as my 9.5 lining with my BFP June 2014, but I'll take it!!  My E2 is 1034 and Doris said that she was very happy about that also. It was Dr Y who did my u/s this morning.  He's the one who did my 2 unsuccessful OE transfers and the one who had to break the news to me that George's heartbeat had stopped. Then of course he did the botched job of my d&c where I got a maternal cell contamination result from Anora test!! So of course my paranoid mind started thinking about bad signs and omens and all that. He told me that my lining "looked good" so I asked him the measurement and he responded "8 point something". So I asked "8 point what?! I need to know." So he said about 8.5. He knocked off .2 mm ...I suppose not to give me false hope since this is transfer #6 and FET #4!??  PFFTT!! A friend who has also suffered from RPL calls him Dr Dickhead. He performed a d&c n her that left her with Asherman's syndrome. The reason I go to that clinic for my Pre-transfer appoints is because it is closer and more convenient, but I am going downtown to Dr. M RE for ultrasounds if I get a BFP. He has a much nicer bedside manner. He is always encouraging and takes my feelings into consideration.

I have been getting my thyroid levels checked every 2 weeks by my GP. My TSH is at it's lowest 1.67 so that is great. Free T4 is 1.6 and Thyroxiine(T4) is 12.0. He also ordered an ANA and other tests like Sjogrens Anti-SS-B antibody that I tested positive for last year! I only found out recently when they signed me up for an online patient portal. The nurse had just told me all my results were normal. However, there was a red explanation point next to the positive tests.  My GP said "that just indicates an inflammation issue".  Hello! Would have been nice to know the month of my transfer!! I was in pain that month despite the 10 mg prednisolone and I would have cancelled my cycle.


I feel like superwoman on the 15 mg prednislone now though!  The first 2 weeks after I started del estrogen injections were tough because I was dealing with insomnia and fibromyalgia pain in my shoulder and back. Eric said that I am alot more hormonal and irritable this time than in previous cycles.  I have huge mood swings that go from being Euphoric to straight out pissed in a short space of time LOL


I have an acupuncture appointment Friday 8/21 because my transfer is a Monday 8/24.,  I won't be able to have a session the day before or even the day of, since my FET is in Chesterbrook, PA (which is a 2 hour drive)

The past 2 weekends have been hectic.  Eric was on call all last week. Then, this past weekend, he was back-up, but the on-call couldn't figure out how to fix the network issue so Eric had to help him out.  He ended up having to go to the data center because there is no rep from the other team in Minnesota to actually physically do their job here in Maryland. So I had to wait in the car at the data center for over an hour. Groceries like meat and salmon in the trunk. We had not eaten dinner. I was not a happy camper. It was 11:30  pm by the time we finally got home!


Eric had to have his headset on the whole time we were at the hospital visiting our friend who had emergency gall bladder surgery yesterday.  We stayed with her for 2 hours while her husband went home, had a shower, etc.. They had to go straight to the hospital from the airport as she had been in pain for 3 days and they couldn't find what was wrong with her in Hong Kong and had just given her probiotics for what they thought was a stomach flu. Now she has the runs poor thing! Getting out of bed is a challenge in itself but she has to get up every hour or so. The doctors here put her on antibiotics and were going to send her home but she insisted they do a CT scan and that's when they realized they had to do the gall bladder removal immediately! 

The 2 most frequent cards I have been getting with the animal spirit guide deck in the past 2 weeks hit the nail right on the head:

1) The Seagull:"Now is the time for deep emotional healing" - The emotional sea that's hovering just below your consciousness is a well of feelings that needs to be acknowledged and expressed. Cry or laugh as much as you need to explore these feelings by sharing them with someone you trust (that would be Eric), or write about them in a journal.  Pay particular attention to sensations in your body. It's not necessary to cleanse the emotional and psychic scars that remain from earlier experiences too frequently, but now is the time to do so.

2) The Wolverine:"You are alot tougher than you think you are."-You have what is takes to deal with this turmoil. One where events have taken a different turn from what you expected. Recall those times when you've faced adversity, when you had to dig deep inside yourself to discover the internal resources and will to continue onward. This is one of those times when you need to be assertive with others, saying "no" when necessary, asking for what you want and sustaining your physical and emotional boundaries.