No miracle at the end of the rainbow

Well this isn't going to be our miracle baby :(  sonogram showed that this isn't a viable pregnancy. Eric and I are very sad since we know it is probably our last chance conceiving naturally since I will be 42 soon 

I have a subchorionic hemorrhage in my uterus under the gestational sac. The sonogram tech also found 2 cm fibroid which they didn't see last time but she said the pregnancy hormones could have made it grow over the last several weeks. She said it's not the same kind of fibroid as I had 3 years ago with last miscarriage. That one was protruding into the uterus while this one is not and could go away on it's own.  

I will be going to OBGYN on Monday and we will discuss further if a d &c needs to be done. I really was praying that I would never have to go through another miscarriage. It has been the worst thing I have had every had to go through. 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xGPS8sa-bRQ&feature=share

*Update- I had my d & c on March 25th. On May 6th I had a follow-up appointment with Ob to discuss the results of the chromosome testing done.  The OB explained that my pregnancy was not caused by the age of my eggs. It was a tetraploidy 92 XXYY(male). She has never seen this before and the cytogeneticist said it is quite rare. 1-2% occurrence. There were 4 sets of chromosomes! I did some research and this is how it happens; A one-cell embryo (with 46 chromosomes = 23 paternal + 23 maternal) should divide into two cells with 46 chromosomes each. The chromosomes have to duplicate first. However,  if the division fails,  the new cell will have 92 chromosomes (instead of the normal 46 XY)

Beta still doubling

My hcg numbers have doubled from beta on 3rd March which was 3329 to 6637 on 7th March :) Cyndi my nurse said that to her it seemed normal for 5 weeks 6 days going by sonogram. I asked her if she thought it was strange that I was measuring a week behind and she replied no and not to worry everything is doubling normally in her opinion. She said the sono next Friday will give us a clear picture. She is so nice! The high risk OB/GYN who told me she didn't think this was a normal pregnancy and that going by my Lmp they should have seen something on last sono. She doesn't sugar coat anything. Well I know from experience that doctors don't know everything. I do appreciate her being honest with me though because I don't want to get my hopes up. The fertility doctor said my first pregnancy was just a fluke and that it was impossible for us to conceive without IVF. I only trust in God and pray for a healthy baby.

Was it too good to be true?...

Sunday the 3rd march was a nightmare...
As we were leaving church I felt a gush and my heart sank when I went to the bathroom and saw red blood. Not just a little spotting either. Eric heard me cry out NOOOOO. He rushed to me and hugged me and immediately took me to GBMC hospital. We didn't have time to eat lunch. Waited forever to be admitted and then they tried to do a trans abdominal u/s of course saw nothing. The midwife asked if I felt cramping and I didn't and she said that was good. The bleeding stopped. They checked my cervix and said it was firm and closed tight so I was not having a miscarriage. Waited four hours for transvaginal sonogram. There was a yolk sac in the gestational sac but no fetal pole. The sonogram tech said I measured 5 weeks 2 days. She asked if my period was regular and I was sure of my dates. I responded that I thought I had ovulated late and had a big bbt dip on the 13th Feb and had a beta of 35 on Feb 14th so I could have had a late implantation. I added that I didn't think I should be counting from my last lmp which would be 6 weeks 3 days. I was thinking more 5 weeks 6 days. She said that the bleeding was caused by a small tear in the placenta. (My mind flashed back to my last miscarriage when they said I measured 7 weeks and they saw a fetal pole but no heartbeat. They were trying to make me feel better by saying maybe my dates were off).
Well this tech was not as sensitive. She said that I should try clomid. A friend of hers tried it and had twins. I told her that I had already been through 2 unsuccessful ivfs and I want THIS pregnancy!! SO basically she was saying this isn't a viable pregnancy. Sunday was the 3rd March, the same day I miscarried exactly 3 years ago.  Except then,I was 9 1/2 weeks. We waited to see the high risk OB who never turned up. Then we had to wait for Rhogam shot to be sent from pharmacy. I needed the rhogam shot because I am rh negative(A-) and Eric is rh positive (B+)It finally arrived at 9pm. I was starving since I hadn't eaten since breakfast. My HCG was 3,329 so it's still doubling. My progesterone was 17 but but I thought this was kind of low since I am on otc natural progesterone. I couldn't get the midwives to prescribe a stronger one. I have 3 days worth of it here (from my last ivf) so started taking it last night. I am thinking the otc one isn't strong enough. Fertility clinic hasn't called me back. Since this is a spontaneous pregnancy I guess they don't want to be responsible.  I still had refills for progesterone from last June but I doubt pharmacy will fill it since it's been 9 months. I am going to try and maybe they will call the nurse to check with her and she may just call me back?

Yesterday went for another sono and again they only saw the yolk sac but no fetal pole :(
The sono tech said that if I really am 5 weeks 2 days like I measure then it could be too early for fetal pole. Because I charted my ovulation though I find it hard to believe that I am a week behind. The high risk OBGYN scheduled another vaginal u/sound for 15th March. She didn't think it was looking good since they should be seeing something on sono by now. It's all in God's hands now.