Tuesday, December 15, 2015


RE phoned me himself to tell me that my beta was negative. He said he doesn't believe my thyroid levels are the issue because although my Free T4 is on the high end of normal at 1.8. He said he would be willing to order the allo-immue testing through Dr Braverman, but he cannot sign the form on his website and doesn't understand why Dr B insists on having his name tied to the clinic's. So I am on my own for getting the immune testing done. Dr Hamersley has ordered the immunology testing for a lady I know. However, the extensive immune panel costs $7,500 which includes Dr B's interpretation. It is not a bad price if we were cycling with his clinic but we are not. Re asked if there should be an allo-immune issue how would Dr B treat it. Possibly intralipids or Ivig, depending on what the immune issue is. My clinic is unwilling to prescribe either of these. Since he had no suggestion as to the next step I suggested maybe donated embryos or donor sperm &egg might work. He then told me that they are starting a donor embryo donation program soon due to the high demand. I will have to talk to the financial councellor and see if we can get a partial refund from the Donor egg program to use towards the Embryo donation program. 
When your RE says there is nothing more that can be done and he suggest a gestational carrier and you are financially drained and know that is not an option.  I just can't explain the feeling of total hopelessness. He said he wished he knew the reason why I keep losing PGS normal embryos but is totally at a loss. We could have transfered more than one embryo at a time and we would have been on cycle #3 by now. But we did eSET each time and that is why it took us almost 2 years to use up our embryos. Why is it always my fault? First bad eggs and now my immune system? Doesn't seem fair. In my defense, Dh said it could be his sperm. RE argued that icsi fixes any issues with sperm morphology. Or perhaps our donor's eggs? After she cycled for us, she was taken out of their database and her eggs were sent to a frozen egg bank. This usually means there were no live births from her eggs.  I asked on several occasions if he could find out this info but he just replied that her after eggs were sent to the egg bank there is no way he could find out any info on her. Makes me wary of choosing another Egg donor.  After our phone conversation, RE wrote me an email saying he would still like to do everything within his power to help us and to keep in mind the Embryo donation program. For the first time since we have been on this journey, I feel like Dh and I have come to the end of the road.


  1. Ohhhh nooooo!! I've been lurking for a long time and I just had to say I am so, so sorry! I know that pain all too well! Sending you so many virtual hugs.

    I don't know where you are but you might want to check out CNY Fertility. They will prescribe intralipids and ivig for your cycles if needed without the $7,000 worth of tests!

    And the Cooper's Institute in NJ has a great donor embryo program that is really reasonably priced.

    I am praying for your miracle!

  2. Thank-you Michaela! We are in Maryland. Big hugs to you and Ladybug :)

  3. UGH! This is the worst! I'm so so sorry :(